MIND CONTROL (series - 2)

MIND CONTROL

 ( series - 2 )

Mind is a very subtle entity, a relative of the one Reality, or the Heart, or one may say, the Truth. The‘Heart’ is ‘Hridayam’ in Sanskrit  wherein ‘Hrid’ denotes  the ‘Centre’ and ‘Ayam’ means ‘Here’. So ‘Hridayam’ is ‘Here is the Centre of a powerful whirlpool of consciousness with a strong pull from inside’. 'Reality'  is  the ‘Hridayam’ as well  as  the Truth. The word   for  Truth  in  Sanskrit   is ‘SATYAM’. ‘Sat’  stands  for  ‘Essence’ and  ‘Ayam’  for  ‘Here’.  'Sathyam'  is  ‘ the Essence of all that exists here’. So ‘Reality’ is whatever is there or remains as real form forever, as the unchangeable base,  which is also ‘Hridayam’ the  centre from which all  are formed and ejected, which is also ‘Sathyam’,  the Essence, the base from which all formations were born and evolved.

Mind is a continuum unless it is broken or destroyed. Let us liken it to a ‘Power of Attorney’ holder. The POA is a blank one signed at the bottom by the Heart, in trust, issued to the Mind, for formalities sake, to act as its Agent. The Heart expects the POA holder, the Mind, to function on its behalf as has been very clearly made understood to the mind on various occasions.

But the mind, being of a wavering nature by force of it’s associations, is easily lured by the Power vested upon it by the Heart and starts stepping out of the limits of the Power conferred upon it and uses the unbridled powers lying in front of it for its own pleasures without the knowledge of the Heart resulting in real mayhem, disasters. The Mind, in the absence of the knowledge of ‘Disaster Management’ which lies only under the scope of the Heart ends up in utter consternation, starts consulting other minds for solutions instead of surrendering to the Heart and praying for forgiveness and solutions of problems created by it.

The mind’s frantic search for solutions carries it far away from the Heart into the devious depths of the ‘whirlpool of minds’ where mighty formidable currents can lead one from currents to other worse currents pushing it into a vicious circle of currents forever.

A Sadguru enters in one’s life out of compassion to save him or her from such disasters. A  Sadguru is nobody but the very Compassion, Grace, Reality, Truth or the Heart personified. The most wonderful fairy tale which is happening in real life in front of the human eye is that the Truth or Compassion or Reality whatever be its name operates in most unbelievable ways. Having created this Universe it also knows how to show its creations who their master is. The whole reality is nothing but compassion, love, awareness, knowledge out of which everything microscopic as well as macroscopic is created for its own joy. Hence the ever blissful Sadguru is concerned about the unreal miseries of its subjects also who exist in the fairy tale.

It is said that a Sadguru meets one, half the way, who is in search of him genuinely especially when in panic.

The reference to the ‘whirlpool of minds’, above, is to show that an unbridled mind gets into interactions with other minds, by default. The ‘Mind’ is nothing but a conglomeration of thoughts. In the absence of thoughts the mind does not exist. A 'joint' or 'locus' or 'location' where all thoughts surface is generally referred to as the ‘Mind’. But then where do these thoughts surface from? It is another story on which we will get into detail sooner.

For the time being let us know that all thoughts lie dormant in ‘seed form’ in an individual’s being to surface at the appropriate time and bloom into fruition, or its results, in the form of actions which directly navigate one around. Imagine here the tiny seed of a big spreading Banyan Tree to understand the activities of a dormant thought subsequently.

Sri Bhagavan says “show me the mind, I will strike it down”. A search for the mind makes it disappear. A devotee seeks aid from Bhagavan “I am troubled by my mind. The frightful thoughts make me panic sometimes, take away my peace and I am not able to concentrate while meditating”

Sri Bhagavan asks “Who says so?”

Devotee “I “, Bhagavan”.

Sri Bhagavan “who is your “I”?

Devotee “I do not know”.

Sri Bhagavan “Well, the “I”  comes again in your speech. Find out who the “I’ is. Know your “I” first, and then all the troubles will vanish.

Devotee “How to find my “I”, Bhagavan?

Sri Bhagavan  “Simply sit down, and watch “.

 Now here we go into the intricacies of watching one’s  “I”. Well don’t worry. It is simple as Sri Bhagavan instructs.

.

So, now "It’s Ho for the diving board !"  in the inimitable style of  Sir PGW.

                                                                                                        (to be continued in the next blog post)

A page from the "Archives of Ramana Maharshi Vidya Kendram,Guruvayur"

A page from the "Archives of Ramana Maharshi Vidya Kendram,Guruvayur"

PRANAMAMS

A patron, true friend, philosopher and guide of RAMANA MAHARSHI VIDYA KENDRAM (RAMANA MAHARSHI CENTRE FOR LEARNING) GURUVAYOOR...
Dr.Sukumar Azhikode, Pro-Vice chancellor of Calicut University and Poet and writer, and an authority on sanskrit and malayalam literature left his body the day before yesterday....
Our pranamams to this great soul and prayers at the samadhi...

~~~~~~~~~~♥~~~~~~~~~~

A moment...forever in the now...

A moment...forever in the now...

Sri A.R.Natarajan..founder-president, Ramana Maharshi Centre for Learning, Bangalore

whose presence shines forever and is felt in this moment...

~~~~~~~~~~♥~~~~~~~~~~

 * Shining scenes electrified  by grace of Sri Bhagavan 

on various occassions in the Ramana Maharshi vidya Kendram, Guruvayur *

REFLECTIONS ON HEART OR REALITY (Series - 4)

Reflections on the Heart or Reality

(Series – 4)

The Coconut or the Coconut Tree?

“I have a fascination for paintings” said Time to Space “the thing is that it is not boring as they keep changing always. That one over there is beautiful.A supernova. Soon it will change into various shapes and colors. Watching them fulfills me always with bliss. “Hey wait, Time, Said Space. I will show you something. Look over there. Salvador Dali has just finished that one painting and is waving at us with satisfaction. But he has put you inside me in his canvas. See that flattened time piece hung up as if for drying in the sun. He didn’t have to put on any effort to paint me along with you. Because you were always in me and I am taken for granted always which I hate. I wanted to challenge him, for once, whether he can put me inside you, Time, in his painting.”

“Hey Bro, don’t be foolish you are always inside me because your space is contained by me in a stretch of time which is me. How about it?” asked Time to Space? Space suddenly halted in his steps and looked at Time.” They were walking together side by side keeping pace with each other. “Time, I want to contemplate in silence. You always follow me as a tail everywhere. Please leave me alone or keep a respectful distance from me especially as you are younger to me and born after me.” Time was so much annoyed “Watch your words Space! When I was born there was never a big brother to bully me. I noticed you much later only. Hence I am elder to you.”

“Time! You always lived in my fold and protection.” Pointed out Space. Time waived it away with a sweep of his hand and retorted “Foolish of you not to notice the truth yet. Space! You always existed in stretches of my time and I am that Time. You grew under my watchful eyes every second.

Space felt irritated, shook with anger and said “Enough of these meaningless exchanges. Let us both have the truth about us from the horse’s mouth”. So they set out towards their home, which lay deep in their inwardness, a long way from where they stood, to meet their parents.

“Welcome dear children. You both seem to be in haste, your attires in disarray and faces with troubled looks. Say what meaningless tricks of the devil put your minds in consternation?” Asked Heart, their father, when they both reached home tired. “Where’s Mom? I miss her a lot” asked Time. “She is in me. Can’t you see her, Time? We are together and remain as One always” said Heart ". Remove your doubts children, you both are twins born to us at the same time. That is the reason why you move around together always as  inseperables."

“Well, I see you are having the same kind of trouble as Time and I, Dad. It seems to be, to me, ‘like parents like kids, perhaps’. That explains it. But the riddle is not yet solved for us”. “Live in this moment, Space, where Time doesn’t exist and live in this moment, Time, where Space doesn’t exist”. Said Heart “Then the riddle is solved. Your perception is a fantasy I and your Mom indulge in, not mentioning also the existence of both of you as our children. Your focus was short and limited and engulfed by a fog bank of doubts. The moment doubts crept inside you should have reached up to me in silence instead of trying to figure it out all by yourselves. Understand, you are only relatives to the one and only reality, which is ‘I’, the Heart, and the Truth, I am not part of you but you and your mind are part of me and being what you are you stay limited in your perception of the whole truth, the only way to undo this riddle is to become the whole, the reality, ‘I’, the Heart and the Truth and then your limited identity is gone and in its place your one and only original identity, which is ‘I’, the Heart, shines taking your focus to a vision of the whole as one.

“Hey Mom, I see you clearly now in Dad as integrated into him and merged together as one entity.” Said Space. “Me too”, exclaimed Time, wonder stuck as the truth dawned on him. “Come back home soon kids, before it is dark” said Heart with tears in his eyes as both Time and Space left happily to play their parts in a celestial drama, meant for kids as well as grown ups, in a big Hologram that appeared from nowhere on the celestial stage.

“Hey Dad, who made this big Hologram?” shouted Time as they were moving towards it.” Don’t worry Time, that one is from the dream I and your Mom are watching” roared back the Heart. The Hologram then burst away after the play wiping away Time and Space and everything else on the stage in its retreat and nothing remained there after.

“The Kids will be back soon, it is getting dark dear” said Heart to his beloved “Make their beds warm and serve them dinner hot, and then fall into my arms again tonight to melt away into this moment…until Time and Space wake up again, all afresh”.

MIND CONTROL (series - 1)

MIND CONTROL

~~~~~~~~~~~~

( Series – 1 )

~~~~~~~~

“Show me your mind! I will strike it down.” Sri Bhagavan said to a visiting devotee who sought help from him to subdue the mind. “Whose mind”?  “Mine”. ”who are you?” There was confusion in answering Bhagavan’s question. So he said find out “who am I” first. Then you will discover there never existed an entity called mind.

The confusion was due to taking it for granted that one was the body as he had already identified himself with the body. The veil of ignorance had hidden his original identity as there was nothing or nobody yet to point out this error and remove the veil. Here the sadguru entered in his life in the form of Bhagavan to guide him and show him the truth. The sadguru is nobody but the personification of compassion, god, reality, Brahman, heart or whatever label you want to give him. The very substratum of the universe itself is bliss, compassion, love in its purest form from which all the manifestations were born taking names and forms like a child would blissfully look at his toys and name them. It is said a sadguru comes half the way out of compassion, concern, to help a being who is in search of him.

Many a time I have wondered, and became depressed, way back, when I looked at me and found me existing as a clone, like the ones you see in movies some scientists love to create for their vested interests. Billions and billions of clones, created and destroyed, programmed to play some role, all of which finally end up in a waste dump. At one point I found that taking the food repeatedly day after day, cleaning oneself, sleeping and engaging with mundane matters of the day to day living became utterly meaningless and without purpose. Even living with relatives like everyone else and pretending to be happy superficially did not strike me as something meaningful. There was a lack of purpose in everything. Billions of others were following the same pattern of life all over the world and I felt that my life didn’t matter at all to anybody or served any special purpose in this world. Like a swarm of flies or worms that is created and destroyed time and again human society also followed suit I thought. I wondered how a single worm or bee or ant would have felt left to itself.

The beauty of life itself revealed to me not until I faced the same question from Sri Bhagavan. Alas! suddenly everything changed. That moment  onwards I found meaning and purpose in every movement of life in this world. And I stood astounded as I realized the beauty in life, of love, like when the peacocks in Sree Ramanasramam danced under a thunder shower. The colors held meaning and everyone I met mattered to me. The space suddenly revealed depths.

Of course stories and ideas instill faith in one very much. Ramayana, Bhagavatham, Mahabharatham, Bible, the Vedas and upanishad literature etc etc all create faith, character, instill confidence in one to live fearlessly and help in understanding the one supreme power and its omnipotent presence. But this is purely an intellectual happening to create model moulds. One understands and gathers knowledge and is happy that one’s store or armory or archives is fully loaded and kept ready for use.

Once sri u.g.krishnamurthy somewhere in his twenties landed up in sree Ramanasramam and found himself sitting directly in front of sri Bhagavan. He doubted the existence of ‘Enlightenment’ or was ignorant what it meant and how to go about to be enlightened. So he put forth questions reluctantly to Bhagavan. He asked three questions to him. The first was “Bhagavan, is there something called enlightenment?” to which Bhagavan’s answer was simply “Yes”. The second question was “Can I become enlightened? “ Sri Bhagavan replied “Yes, of course”. The third question was “Can you give me enlightenment?” Sri Bhagavan then said with a gesture “Of course I can give enlightenment to you. Here it is. I am giving it to you. You can take it.”

Sri u.g.krishnamurthy later said he was perplexed not knowing what to do then and wondered how to receive the enlightenment given to him by sri Bhagavan. It was only after about twenty years or so, he says, he could understand thankfully what was that Sri Bhagavan gracefully gave to him that day which he could not receive in its fullness at that particular moment. The moment of self discovery dawned on him only after that important meeting with Sri Bhagavan.

I remember two middle aged persons from a temple town I used to know, who were literate, very well into bhakthi and jnana yoga, who could give lectures on the scriptures and guide people, but went into a never ending litigation for decades hating each other. I understood what the word “experience” meant as compared to intellectual knowledge. Both had taken for granted that god was with both of them. It reminded me of Mahabharatham which was a living story of fights between two respected groups of kings who upheld values to their last moments in life. It was Lord Krishna who gave enlightenment to Arjuna in the battle field before the famous Kurukshethra war began. The only one that reached the Altar of truth was king Yudhishtira because he was a true seeker of truth and never even uttered a word of untruth except for once when he was convinced and forced to spell out a twisted truth, a half lie, by Krishna the lord himself to weaken their opponent. It is interesting to see that, later for this half lie he had to resort to, to save values, he had to face the sword of truth but managed unscathed to reach his goal all alone sacrificing his dearest kith and kin he had to leave behind.

The focus here is that mere intellectual knowledge does not give one the experience of his original identity, The “I” “I” Sri Bhagavan instruct seekers to search for by entering into one’s heart cavity in silence and one pointedly like diving deep into a well watching one’s breath and searching for a lost thing and retrieving it.

But the first hurdle shows up here as one’s inability to concentrate, focus one pointedly on anything. The surging flow of thoughts carries away one with its swirling currents. The flow of thoughts has to be controlled or stopped to focus on anything at all. One says here feebly “I can not control my mind. I find innumerable thoughts emerging in my mind as an unstoppable stream. What am I to do now?”

Sri Bhagavan directs a seeker at this point by saying “find out the person for whom the mind exists”. The mind is only a bundle of thoughts. Without thought there exists no mind. He said “be still”. I can’t but quote here a sentence, mentioned as a means for watching the mind to control it, which I liked so much, from a book titled “Meditations” by sri A.R.Natarajan, president, Ramana Maharshi Centre for Learning, Bangalore, one of his early publications, which reads as “like laying a siege to the fortress of inherent tendencies” watch the emergence of every single thought and destroy it by being it’s observer or witness. An aid to become the witness is also suggested as “by watching the breath”. It is explained by bhagavan as “prathyavekshna  pranayama”. That is, by simply watching the inhalation and exhalation of breath and at the same time asking oneself “who am I?” dive deep into one’s inwardness or heart cavity and find out the knower of the mind, the “Aham sphurana” or the “I”  which is understood as a vibration by the seeker. One is instructed by Sri Bhagavan to hold on dearly to this vibration and not let it go away from one’s focus at any time or at any cost.

Mind and breath, says Sri Bhagavan, in “Upadesasaram” are two branches of the one Prana. By watching the breath one can control the mind and vice versa.

Reflections on the Heart or Reality - series - 2

Reflections on the HEART or REALITY

Reflections on the  HEART  or  REALITY

series -3

The question ‘Who actually am I?’ still remains obscure under a fog bank of doubts due to lack of sufficient experience on the part of the questioner.

“Watch the ‘I’ thought, hold on to it without losing it, it will lead all the way to the Heart.”

As I could locate and follow the ‘I’ thought I felt happy about the lead the above statement and experience gave me and I started enjoying the solitude I felt in my silent inner journey.

But suddenly something stopped me here and in came another wave of doubts. Did I not get the above statement right? I saw a catch here that lead me back to trace the events in my experience. I felt I was again like somewhere in the book titled ‘Catch 22’ by Joseph Heller.

‘I am the ‘I’ vibe or the Aham sphurana which is leading me to a realm of inner silence and I have managed to hold on to it tightly not losing the grip on it. But I find a catch here in my experience. I have to necessarily focus my attention to another aspect of the ‘I’ here.

‘I am watching my ‘I’ thought. So I find another ‘I’ here watching my other ‘I’ thought or Aham Sphurana or ‘I’ vibe. How come there are two ‘I’’s here in me? I was really stuck here.

I remembered Bhagavan’s words here in his ‘Ekasloki’, the second verse in chapter two of Ramana Gita reading “In the interior of the Heart-cave Brahman (Heart) alone shines in the form of the Atman with direct immediacy as ‘I’, as ‘I’…..”

The Forty verses on Reality refers to the ‘I’ - ’I’ as the absolute consciousness. Bhagavan says the understanding of this fact before one is firmly established in the natural state (Sahaja) by constant practice remains intellectual only. Even though this consciousness happens before Sahaja there is in it the subtle intellect. The difference being that in the latter the sense of forms disappear, which is not the case in the former.

The individual with name and form is the false ’I’, the imagined identity, with the notion of limitation as there is no unbroken continuity in it and the awareness of fullness of consciousness is termed as ‘I’-‘I’ because in it there is no limitation which breaks the experience of the ‘I’-‘I’.

The ‘I’-‘I’ remains in all the three states, the waking dreaming and dreamless sleep, whether one is conscious of it or not.

The enquiry ‘Who am I’ leads one to self consciousness and since it relates to the individual it is experienced in one’s being with a centre of experience in the body like a vibrating power house which supplies power to all the parts of the body and maintains life as well  the relation between the physical and the subtler planes in which the individual functions. Actually the vibrations of the consciousness can be felt by one’s calm mind that pays attention to it. It is known as sphurana for the sadhakas which ultimately leads one to the state of Sahaja Samadhi which is otherwise known as the natural state.

(Ref: ‘Ramana Gita’ by Sree Ramanasramam and ‘Know Yourselves’ by Sri.A.R.Natarajan, President, RMCL, Bangalore)

                                                                                                    To be continued...

Indian National Anthem - dedicated to nation on this independece day - 15th August, 2011

Reflections on The "HEART" or "REALITY"

Reflections on the “HEART” or “REALITY”

Series-1

 ~ Praise be to the name of my Guru, Guide and Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi ~

Well, this is just to share a few thoughts with you all on the subject ‘Heart’. Some one asked way back frustrated by this word… “Mr. Krishnan, what’s all this hue and cry about the Heart, I read in poems, film songs, in your Blog http://www.blackandwhiteholes.blogspot.com, in Bhagavan’s literatures etc. The picture of Jesus Christ shows the picture of a Heart on his chest, the term Heart of Hearts, then heart attacks and heart surgeries and someone writing to me ‘you are in my heart’ etc. I said, I too have had this confusion way back and I thought it was a fancy word or a fashion or style to mention the word ‘Heart’.

“Don’t beat around the Bush Mr. Krishnan and don’t give me pointless lectures on The Heart. I am keen on going to the bottom of it for once. But I have no inkling as to where I should start. I feel like the dog which kept on circling the Turtle on the beach. My mind can’t fathom this subject and then my attention goes to other easy enjoyable matters.”

As far as I can perceive the modus operandi to reach the heart of the subject ‘Heart’ the first thing that happens in this quest, in chronological order, is the thought:

“I want to sincerely know about the Heart and have its experience since the scriptures as well as the learned ones from time immemorial say that the goal of life is to reach the Heart and abide as that.”

Contemporary thinking and experience along the line of evolution and ways of living of the present times clearly point out that it is possible for a sincere and curious human being to reach the Heart and abide as that wherever he is placed in the walks of his life for example for a king or a queen or their footman or a layman who has no time to resort to scriptural learning let alone the continuous graceful company of the learned ones who take births in the passage of time to guide the masses as per the divine will of the compassionate one, the Heart.

So here it is ‘I’ who wants knowledge of the Heart. It will be silly of one to say ‘please give me knowledge of the Heart as quick as possible because I have many other things in life to attend to’. Again it is the ‘I’ who wants knowledge of the Heart.

Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi steps in here and asks the person ‘who are you?’ to which he says my name is Govind. Sri Maharshi again puts forth the question who is Govind to which the perplexed individual says it is ‘I’ only. Who is this ‘I’? He points out to his body and touches his chest on the right side.

Once to a stubborn person who was not satisfied by Sri Bhagavan’s words Bhagavan said “Go back the way you came” jocularly but the meaning implied was ‘go back to your source by any means if you are not satisfied with my answer’.

Sri Bhagavan said “Is it so that your name is written on your body? No. Your body can’t speak. Which part of your body says I AM Govind? It’s the mouth consisting of lips, tongue and the vocal chords which together make speech, that too, if and when the Lungs feel like blowing air through your mouth if and when they get enough supply of blood and oxygen depending upon other functions which is triggered by the neurons in your brain if it is in ‘no damage mode’ so forth and so on. The body leads us nowhere. It is just dead matter consisting of cells which derive energy from a subtlest external energy source outside the body. I say here that even the electrons of the micro matter ‘Atom’ depends on this external energy source with which science has come to a dead end as far as identifying it. The scientists just say “well, there is this external energy which comes into the Atoms but we are yet to explore into its structure”. One can imagine what will happen if they explore into ‘Self enquiry’ methods as a last resort and reach the HEART and abide as that. They will just be happy and throw away all the modern gadgetry into the space as they would have attained the last and the highest item one can ask god to give. Because Heart is the ultimate in Knowledge. You have everything there ever needed by humanity, the meaning, the purpose and the goal of life.

The HEART encompasses everything in the Universe. It forms the Macrocosm. It is beginningless and endless. The Rishis who created the scriptures call it in Sanskrit “HRIDAYAM”. ‘Hrid’ for center and ‘Ayam’ for I am.  ‘I am the centre’. Thus the ‘I’ is also called the Heart. The centre of everything and from which center everything has sprung forth into the relative world.

In the relative world, the objective one, we can read and learn as to what is the Heart. But for having the knowledge of it as experience one has to reach the HEART. A relative can never be the reality because the Reality engulfs the relative which is a part of it. Hence the only way to know the Heart is by becoming the Heart or the Reality or Brahman (in Sanskrit) as can be called.

Here we are back in square one because we do not know who the ‘I’ is. Only the ‘I’ can lead us to the Heart or the Reality. Why? Because it is one’s original identity and not the body. The ‘I’ feeling or ‘I’ thought extends all the way from the Heart to the body. Between the Heart and the Body a false identity, as another ‘I’, also forms as one grows up which is mistaken for the original identity, the ‘I’, as ignorance veils the existence of the original ‘I’ in the body. Here is where a Guide or a Master or a Guru enters in one’s life naturally out of compassion to remove this veil of ignorance from him and help him to retrieve his original identity, the ‘I’. Let us call this ‘I’ as the ‘I’ thought because it is a feeling one has about oneself in his mind.

Since the ‘I ‘ thought extends all the way from the Heart to your body and mind and make you feel its ‘sphurana’ or ‘vibration’ on a close investigation, Sri Bhagavan insists one to hold on to this ‘I’ feeling or ‘I’ thought dearly which will automatically lead one inward to the core of one’s existence, the Self or the Heart.

But the difficult hurdle here is to hold on to this ‘I’ thought as one may be carried away forcefully from it by the innumerable other thoughts which circumambulate this ‘I’ thought. This happens to a week mind who can’t concentrate one pointedly. The indulgences, the extravaganzas in ones life makes one a slave to the force of habit. So it is necessary for one to limit oneself in activities to remove from the mind all the unnecessary luggage and make it light. Then the mind has all the power pointed at one quest undivided which helps it to travel a long way into one’s inwardness.

Once, another friend put forth a question during one of our satsanghs when ‘Forty verses on reality’ was being read out and discussed. He shot a question straight “what is Inwardness you have been talking about here?”

The answer was “get used to listening inward, sitting in a comfortable posture, with a free mind and just listening”. After  a few sessions of satsanghs he talked again “ I have been listening with closed eyes and with a free mind in a comfortable posture in my house and  I felt light minded as I heard many sounds of the nature to which hitherto I have never bothered to listen”. “But I am yet to know inwardness”.

“Who heard and where did you hear them?” “‘I’ heard them”. “Well, now you have the experience of hearing. Who had it? Close your mouth and eyes and say or think I am Govind.” He said “Yes I could hear it without sound in my mind.” “When I say ‘I’ without sound I hear it inside an empty space in me. I have the experience also now of ‘knowing’ that I heard it without sound in an empty space in me or in my mind. So now ‘I’ know what is meant by the “I THOUGHT” and also the meaning of ‘inwardness’ or looking inward.” “From this experience I arrive at the conclusion that my identity is the “I thought” in me or the “Sphurana” of the ‘I’ feeling in me and that ‘I’ am not the body.

                                                                                                     To be continued….

WHERE'S LOVE GONE

WHERE’S LOVE GONE

People coming down from your altar

Down the slopes of the mountain

I was climbing up the shortest route

Steep rocky falls down under my feet

Watching them moving down slopes

Said they, all that have to be attained

Are ours now the long grinding up hill

Trail has ended for us we are free and

Bestowed with all that we wished for

But then how the return downhill when

The light of love devours one wholly

And become one with no leftovers

I slipped on a rock was hit by the fall

And balancing on a foot was happy to

Watch the party looking at me and

Moving away they could hear my shout

Yet there wasn’t a care all feet hurrying

Away with hands tightly clutching the booty

Cold love in diffused light and dead looks

The luster of love were all made up masks

Once the earnest faces with hands raised

Were they all deceptions of the tricky minds?

Love’s chemistry having only one quality yet

Changed into pungent fumes of acid cocktails

Miracles in the dark splotches of the Moon

Hidden under the brilliant highlands light

Where’s love’s never failing ever trust worthy

Moon beams thou hast promised will engulf

The earnest face and raised hands turned above

Is this a hibernation mistaken for a swoon?

A half baked mind dreaming itself to be the heart

The frog of the well denying the ocean existence

Here I let go oh lord of my grip on the rock and

Into the well woven net of your compassion that’s

Famous for the sure catches of your faithful ones

And lift them up to your altar to merge into your love.

A vibe's pangs

A vibe’s pangs

Her hands dangling down like pure white marble carved

Like her heart that poured moon beams cool into my head

When we went around the crowded village fair stalls, the

Clinking of glass, my heart beat so fast, a sweet jab on it

I placed the pang in my heart’s depth where we met again

Blue and green and red so dark they were part of her hands

Why it took so long to be back in their place, my fault it was

Poor thing I held her hands the music from her hands n voice

Told me that it was the beginning and end of our lives, it’s time

I took her home with me I can’t stand this pang that burns me alive

To The Diving Board

  To the diving board

I see your face dripping morning dews always
 you stand so close yet do not see my heart
you don’t Stay as one but a thousand in your mind

Not your fault you are snow flakes in winter

 I try to put you in one piece in my heart

But the wind of changes drags you back into bits

Look at my photo and I see you in my heart
touch my photo and you touch me in my heart
your whispers to me I hear them in my heart
  your roots have gone very deep into my heart

The heart listens to prayers yours and mine
 your mind belongs to your heart only like

The waves belong to the depths of the sea, you

Dive deep and deep into the mind’s beginning

Where a door opens to one heart yours and mine

When you find yourselves in one piece in my heart

I wait for you there remember a dream come true.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

About this poem:
I'm the heart